Trick or Treat

In the past we have always gone to my good friends house to trick or treat. (our boys have been friends since they were 4) The men would take the boys out and the girls would stay back at the house and get the food going.
Then last year the soccerboy wanted to change things up a bit. He wanted to have a party at our house, instead of going trick or treating. Which is to be expected. The boys were after all, 15 years old. Kinda too old to be out .
 Now, I am all about parties (adult parties) and having a good time, I mean fun. So we let the soccerboy have a party.
No harm, no foul.
Some silly string and water balloons. Loads of food.
No, not the kind of party you were thinking.
Just a group of boys hanging out doing stupid stuff.
No alcohol at my house.
I'm not one of those parents. So, I guess I'm not cool.
Nor will I ever be, if giving alcohol to minors is what it takes.
So this year we really won't be doing any trick or treating, since the soccerboy will be 16. He will be out and about with his friends in his new car.
Doing what you ask? Well probably nothing but wasting gas driving around.
Oh, that new found freedom.
Of course the tattoo girl will be out at a costume party.   She hasn't been trick or treating for awhile. She is after all 20 years old.
So anyways this year we actually bought candy to pass out. I am just afraid that since we have not really been home in the last couple of years, we may not get any trick or treaters.
So I did what any good parent would do. I bought only candy that we would eat. You know just in case no one comes by. We don’t want to be stuck with a bunch of crap candy now do we?
Even if we don’t get any trick or treaters, we will be dressing the dogs up. Since they love to participate in the holiday too.
Maybe the sportsman and I can dress up too. You know to scare the kids who come to the door.
What do you think. Maybe I could be sluty Dorothy. You know from the "wizard of oz". I mean I do live in Kansas after all.

But if I am sluty Dorothy then what will the sportsman be?
Most likely we will spend the night watching all the horror flicks that will be playing on tv.
It might be kinda nice you know, just the sportsman and I.
To have the house alone to fool around, I mean to role play, no I mean to sit and cuddle. Yeah thats it we will sit and cuddle the whole night.
I'm thinking I might just like this new tradition.
Sounds awesome doesn’t it.


Happy Halloween!
Source URL: https://notgaptek.blogspot.com/2010/10/
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Cake, I will Survive- Cause I am a badass!

At first I was afraid
I was petrified
I kept thinking
I could never live without you by my side

But then I spent so many nights
Just thinking how you'd done me wrongAnd I grew strong
I learned how to get along

So now you're back
From outer space
I just walked in to find you here
Without the look upon your face
I should have changed my fucking lock
I would have made you leave your key
If I'd have known for just one second
You'd be back to bother me

Oh now go,
Walk out the door
Just turn around now
You're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with desire
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die

Oh no, not I
I will survive
As long as I know how to love I know I'll be alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
I will survive
I will survive
Yeah, yeah

It took all the strength I had
Just not to fall apart
I'm trying hard to mend the pieces
Of my broken heart
And I spent oh so many nights
Just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
But now I hold my head up high

And you see me
With somebody new
I'm not that stupid little person still in love with you
And so you thought you'd just drop by
And you expect me to be free
But now I'm saving all my loving
For someone who's loving me

Oh now go,
Walk out the door
Just turn around now
You're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with desire

Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die

Oh no, not I
I will survive

As long as I know how to love I know I'll be alive
I've got all my live to live
I've got all my love to give
I will survive
I will survive
Yeah, yeah
Source URL: https://notgaptek.blogspot.com/2010/10/
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Have a wonderful weekend!

Happy (almost) Halloween! What are your plans for the weekend? We're going out for Italian food with some friends tonight, so I'm saving my appetite for a giant piece of lasagna. And I'm excited for the Halloween parade this weekend! Toby's going to be either a wolf or a tourist. Hope you have a good one, and here are a few great posts from around the web...

Pumpkin chocolate-chip cookies? Yes, please!

Alphabet bookcase.

Let's go backyard camping.

Love this wedding dress.

Do you think this ponytail styling lotion really works? If so, that's genius.

Awww, such a cute print.

Rethinking sweatpants.

What a lovely wintery shot.

Ooh, I want to go on a photography getaway.

40 clever advertisements.

This beautiful bride wore this beautiful gown!

Kate Spade's adorable inspirations.

Have a good one! xo

(Photo from the new 3191 Quarterly)Source URL: https://notgaptek.blogspot.com/2010/10/
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Friday giveaway!

Today's giveaway is from Penelope's, a wonderful Chicago-based boutique. They're offering one lucky reader a $200 gift certificate. They carry pieces by Built by Wendy, A.P.C. Sessun, Rachel Comey, and other amazing lines, so you could get some really fabulous pieces. (I'd go for this adorable dress and some "very tight" jeans:)

For a chance to win, please visit Penelope's and leave a comment below. A winner will be chosen at random on Monday. Good luck! xo

Update: Liza is our lucky winner. Thanks for playing.Source URL: https://notgaptek.blogspot.com/2010/10/
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Two pretty things

This agate locket.
This woven wrap.

Both for carrying your loved ones close to your heart.Source URL: https://notgaptek.blogspot.com/2010/10/
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Van Gogh tilt-shift

Have you guys ever seen tilt-shift photography? By playing with depth of field, it makes real cities look like miniature models (see examples here and here). Well, Serena Malyon, an art student, used Photoshop to give the same effect to Van Gogh paintings. Aren't these beautiful? See more here.Source URL: https://notgaptek.blogspot.com/2010/10/
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Rose Colored Glasses

Have you heard the saying?
 I'm sure you have.
"To view something with rose colored glasses".



I have prayed alot lately to be able to see my sportsman with rose colored glasses.
Yes, I pray. and no its not any big freakin secert that I believe in God.
So I have been praying to see no flaws in my sportsman.
So that I can fall back in love with him again.
So that we can have the life together we should have.
So that I can over look the sex issues that I have with him. 
So that I can stay committed to only my sportsman.
So recently we went to a concert. 
We go to concerts all the time.
Concerts are after all one of the few things that we both truly enjoy and have a kickass time together.
So at this most recent concert, it finally came to me. Hit me like a ton of bricks. While the sportsman was gently stroking my hair and kissing my neck.
The sportsman, he does e v e r y t h i n g right.
He says all the right things, he touches me in all the right ways, 
 I truly mean e v e r y t h i n g to him. 
During the song “The Bleeding” by Five Finger Death Punch, I opened my eyes for the first time.
The sportsman would do  a n y t h i n g  for me. 
HE WANTS ME! Only ME!
What a freakin awesome deal.
I should feel so lucky.
That he is sooooo damn loyal.
For whatever reason I had been blind to all of that.
I was so busy pushing him away over the (1) sex thing.
Granted it is a  b i g thing, don't get me wrong,
but I have come to terms that it is not everything in the grand scheme of things.  For real people it really isn't.
So recently my mother dropped off a cd that she wanted me to listen to.
I said fine, dropped it on the table and didn’t think twice about it.
On my drive in I popped it into my cd player and gave it a listen.
Did I tell you that this cd was a christain rock band? No?
Well it was.  The music on the cd made me cry all the way in to work.  Which I don't normally do. It just I have been going thru sooo much emtional shit lately. I had to finally let some of it out.
It made me think about how much I have really fucked up lately.
Then when I got to work , the only station that would come in on my freakin radio was K-LOVE, the christain radio station.
 Is that a freakin sign or what.
So as I sat here at work, and reflected on all that has happened so far this morning. It made me really think .

It made me think back to all my good friends, who have been very supportive of me even though I have made some bad choices recently.  Thank You.
They kept telling me that I owed it to the sportsman to give him a chance.
So besides God, I truly have two people to thank.
One is Jersey Girl Gets Real and the other is Mashugamom.  
They both were very supportive of me, and were also pretty adamant that I not end my marriage over this one thing.
So thank you both for being such good friends.
Sorry it took me so long to finally get "it" thru my thick skull.
I honestly finally get it .
It just took me a while to get my shit together.
Better late than never right?



While I’m not perfect, for real.
 I know that I will make mistakes along the way,
 thats only human right?
I can tell you that I am now
on the right path to make my marriage work.
Even if It is with the help of
some rose colored glasses.
Source URL: https://notgaptek.blogspot.com/2010/10/
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Toby in a swing

Last weekend, Toby went on a swing for the first time! He was pretty nonchalant, but Alex and I were totally into it. So sweet to see his little leg warmers sticking out; and the swing was almost as big as he was. We also thought he looked hilarious in Alex's glasses, although when we got home, I suddenly realized that we had inadvertently made him look just like the kid from The Hangover. :)Source URL: https://notgaptek.blogspot.com/2010/10/
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Emersonmade

Emersonmade's clothes keep getting better and better. And she's making shoes now, too. P.S. The striped sleeves sticking out of the trench coat are so cute!Source URL: https://notgaptek.blogspot.com/2010/10/
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Paris versus New York

What an awesome series by graphic designer Vahram Muratyan. He calls it a "friendly visual match between those two cities." (I love the tipping one!)

(Via Smallest Things)Source URL: https://notgaptek.blogspot.com/2010/10/
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Wednesday giveaway!

Today's giveaway is from Ruth Barzel, a fabulous jewelry designer in Washington D.C. She's offering one lucky winner a $100 gift certificate to her shop. She has lots of pretty pieces under $50; my favorite is this gray shell pearl necklace, which would look good with everything. Her pieces would also make great holiday gifts!

For a chance to win, please visit Ruth Barzel's shop and leave a comment below. A winner will be chosen at random tomorrow. Good luck! xo

Update: Sarah Wondering is our winner. Thanks for playing.Source URL: https://notgaptek.blogspot.com/2010/10/
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Missing phone?

Whoa, this is genius! You know when you lose your phone, and you have to ask a friend to call it for you? Well, if no one's around to help, you can go to this clever website, enter your number, and it will call your phone for you. Ha, I just tried it; it really works!

(Via Swissmiss)Source URL: https://notgaptek.blogspot.com/2010/10/
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Mabo

Oh my goodness, how cute are these striped clothes? They're from Mabo, a new children's collection made in the USA. Love.

P.S. If Toby wore these pants, I think I might have to eat him.Source URL: https://notgaptek.blogspot.com/2010/10/
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Birthday dinner

Thanks for all the sweet birthday wishes for Alex! Last night, to celebrate, we went to Recette, an amazing little West Village restaurant. We had a lovely table right next to an open window, so we could feel the crisp fall breeze as we ate. We toasted with Champagne and then shared lots of small plates, including sunchoke soup, beef carpaccio with burrata cheese, and salt cod fritters with lamb ragu (they had such cool combinations of ingredients). It felt so magical to dress up and go out on the town, just the two of us. xoxoSource URL: https://notgaptek.blogspot.com/2010/10/
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Joy Riding

Recently a bunch  of the soccerboys friends have turned sixteen. Which means young newbies out on the road.
The funny part is none of them look old enough to be driving. When they are out and about, it is comical to hear about the other drivers reactions to the fact they look sooooo young.
So anyways, I am not ready for the soccerboy to get his licence just yet. He has had plenty of “drive time” in so I have no doubt that he is more than qulified to be out on the road. It is all the other idots out there that I worry about.
Besides experience comes with t i m e.
I worry even to this day when I hear sirens and the tattoo girl has just left the house. I will call her just to see if she is alright.
I know that I will worry about the soccerboy also.
Again he is more than qualified to be out on the road with out me. It is just part of being a parent, to worry right?
So this week the soccerboy gets his car, next week he will take his test.  Where did the time go.
Exciting? No?
I have mixed emotions. I am sure it will be fine. The big part is I tend to be a little over protective of my children. But, not anymore than the average parent.
My bigger concern is the fact that I have to cover the car insurance for the soccerboy. Well half anyways. The soccerboy is required to get a job and pay for his half.
That is only right.
His dad bought him the car, So I am responsible for the insurance.  Somehow I think I totally got screwed in this deal.
What I want to know is why the hell a man's insurance is sooooo freakin much more than a womans????
I mean really, I have seen women in their cars on the freeway putting on make-up while they are driving.
Hello! Can you freakin say accident waiting to happen.
(Yes, I do have a friend who does this.) She knows I am just busting her balls right now about it.
 My point is women are just as crazy as men drivers.
Isn’t that kinda WRONG, to charge one gender more than the other???
We are equals right?
Just sayin..........
Source URL: https://notgaptek.blogspot.com/2010/10/
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The Smiths

When Alex and I first started dating, I'd go over to his Brooklyn apartment and we'd drink wine and order dinner. (I remember always getting insane butterflies when I walked up the stairs to apartment! He would lean over the banister to say hello, and I would get all heart-pound-y.) Anyway, he'd usually put on music by The Zombies, Love and The Smiths, so I thought he might appreciate these clever limited-edition prints.

(Via Mixed Plate)Source URL: https://notgaptek.blogspot.com/2010/10/
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Happy birthday, Alex!

Dear Alex,

Happy birthday! We love you to pieces! You make us laugh, give pitch-perfect advice, and cook up the most delicious pasta Bolognese (with capers!). You're hilarious to gossip with and such a joy to confide in. It's awesome that every TV show you watch includes the words "Mega Disaster" or "Haunted History," and I know that you secretly want to shave your beard sometimes but I love that you never do (thank you).

We feel so lucky to be your family.

Joanna + Toby
P.S. See you tonight!Source URL: https://notgaptek.blogspot.com/2010/10/
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Bitterness

Recently, with much pain I came to a big super huge realization.
The realization about the word “moving on”.
Now, this word might mean something different to you.  Moving on doesn’t have to be a b a d thing.
Honestly, it just depends on “who” is doing the moving on.
In my opinion moving on is only cool if both parties are in agreement, to move on.
Now if you have a situation where only one of you is wanting to “move on”well then, enter sadness (here).
So here we are moving on.
Whether I wanted to or not.
Yes I know I have said I was moving on multi times before. However, this time it is for real.
Change is good.
Things happen for a reason.
All good things eventually come to an end.
I firmly believe in these things.
I have a male friend at work,that has been aware of all that was going on. In his opinon, he said that I didn’t really care or love this “guy” as much as I think I did. WTF? 
 I disagree.
 What kind of friend tells you that?
 Well, I’ll tell you. An honest one.
My friend says, that I was only in it for the chase.  I was only enjoying it because It felt like I was the one in control. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm
Could this be true? I am a super huge control freak.
I mean really, wasn’t I just using him as much as he was using me?  So I shouldn’t be all that sad to see it end. Right? What ev er.
I still think of him frequently.  The whole situation certainly impacted my life in a positive way. I will never forget him.
Was I ready to move on?
I don’t know. 
 Did I have a choice? Um, No. 
 Will it all be ok?  Eventually.Everything happens for a reason. You just don't realize till later, that the change is a good thing.
I'm not sure who I am trying to convince, me or you?
All good things eventually come to an end.








Source URL: https://notgaptek.blogspot.com/2010/10/
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Puppy!

Oh my goodness, what a shot!

(By Tim Flach, via Swissmiss)Source URL: https://notgaptek.blogspot.com/2010/10/
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Choppy haircuts

Want to hear a weird secret? When you're pregnant, your hair gets thick and glossy, but a few months after your baby is born, it starts to fall out! It's crazy; I'm officially balding with a full-on receding hairline. Apparently it does grow back, but in the meantime, I'm thinking of getting a choppy haircut to make it look thicker.

Anyway, aren't these two pretty? Perfectly easy and messy.

(Photos from J. Crew and Elle Canada, via Kate Arends)Source URL: https://notgaptek.blogspot.com/2010/10/
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Baby cousins

This weekend, Toby and I had a Skype date with my cousin Olivia and her daughter Bo. We were in New York, and they were in England, but we felt like we were in the same room. (Skyping is so amazing; I'd never really done it before.) It was awesome to have the babies meet face-to-face (even though Toby was a little cranky), and breastfeed simultaneously across the Atlantic. :)Source URL: https://notgaptek.blogspot.com/2010/10/
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Electronic Distractions

For awhile now (well since I got my iphone) the sportsman has had a big NO, a super huge issue with me being on my phone all the time.  I’m NOT really on it all the time, for real. Seriously!
Now he is totally supportive of me writing for my blog, which he knows I have. (we even discussed me getting one of thos mini computer note pad things, just for my writing)But the constant texting, checking of emails, and fb messages is driving him up the fucking wall.
Recently we cancelled our home phone (after 9 years) so my phone nubmer is considered our home phone.
So I  n e v e r  turn it off.
My biggest reason for this is when the tattoo girl or soccerboy are not home I want them to be able to reach me at any time in case of emergecy.
So I sleep with my phone. I know ,I know you don’t have to tell me.  It is totally wrong.
The sportsman has said on several occasions that I should turn it off when we go to bed
The reason being, every single time I get an email, personal and work my phone makes a noise.
Everytime I get a fb message it chimes.  I know there is a vibrate feature on this phone, but even on vibrate the sound in the middle of the night can be incredible loud.
It really pisses him off to hear the ding ding noise when a message or text comes in.
The bigger issue is when we are out, whether at the soccerboys games, or out to dinner my phone is constantly buzzing. Or I am texting someone.
It's not like I hide it from him. Even on occasion, I share with the sportsman what I am reading. Like Jersey Girl Gets Real blog page, or a funny remark on FB. Which again alot of the time is the Jersey Girls fb page.  She just cracks me up.
Now one would say, “why don’t you put it away while out with the sportsman”. Good point, except again this is our “home” phone and honestly the majority of the time it is my children that I am texting.
Hello that is part of being a parent. Being available 24/7.
So you can see how all this is totally annoying the sportsman in a major way.
I am working on it, seriously.  I have made more of an effort when we are out together that I don’t even pull the phone out of my purse.
Baby steps people, baby steps.
I know, where would the world be if we had no smart phones? 
 I’ll tell you,
with more free time
to just sit and reflect on life.
Not a bad thing I suppose.
Source URL: https://notgaptek.blogspot.com/2010/10/
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Have a good weekend.

My sweets, what are your plans for the weekend? Alex's mom is visiting from California. The last time she was here, Toby was miniature and couldn't smile or make eye contact. Now he's fat and can roll, laugh, and hug his favorite octopus. I can't wait for her to see! Also, Alex's birthday's coming up (a hem, it's a big one), so we're going here for dinner. (Pumpkin bisque, I'm looking at you.) Anyway, hope you all have a wonderful weekend, and here are a few great posts from around the web...

Commission your very own painting for $200. Amazing.

Funny pet peeves.

Plaid business cards.

Matching mama + baby.

A Parisian apartment untouched for 70 years. (Via Lori)

A spooky bat cake.

Ahoy! A laid-back Montauk wedding. (Thumbs up for their invitations.)

These notecards made me smile.

Stylish record albums.

Goofy public art.

Olden Days, you were insane!

Finally, Portland readers, save the date for Little Winter Market. Wish I could beam myself there!

Plus, three Cup of Jo posts you may have missed:
* Home inspiration: Plant table.
* Father and son.
* Genius wedding invitations.

Have a good one. xoxo

(Photo of the dashing Paul Newman)Source URL: https://notgaptek.blogspot.com/2010/10/
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Friday giveaway!

Today's giveaway is from Chocomize, a seriously rad shop that lets you build your own chocolate bars. You can choose your favorite toppings, like nuts, fruit, tons of candy--and even weird herbs, like basil and oregano. (My personal favorite has toffee, cookie dough and peanut butter chips.) Isn't this the coolest company?!

They're offering one lucky reader a whopping $100 gift certificate. For a chance to win, please visit Chocomize and leave a comment below with your favorite combination of toppings. A winner will be chosen at random on Monday. Good luck! xo

(Plus, a bonus for all readers: Get 10 percent off your order for the rest of October by entering the code "ACUPOFJO" at checkout.)

Update: Holly K. is our lucky winner. Thanks for playing. Source URL: https://notgaptek.blogspot.com/2010/10/
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Redesigned movie posters

Moxy Creative House redesigned 10 classic movie posters, focusing on each film's signature style. (You can also buy them for $30.)

P.S. I secretly thought Dumb and Dumber was totally hilarious.
P.P.S. The Shining still gives me chills!

(Via DesignLoveFest)Source URL: https://notgaptek.blogspot.com/2010/10/
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My basic process for digital rendering

Here is my basic process for rendering an illustration in PS CS4.

My initial sketches are always very, very rough. This piece is for an adult short story: Landlady by Roald Dahl.


 


Then I started with value study by using a big, textured brush. At this stage, I did't worry about colors, because I will add color later with a small trick.




I don't like working with too many layers, so only the backround(usually a grey color), initial sketch, and the painting layer.




At first I had the landlady standing behind the door, but then I changed the composition, because I wanted the viewer to focus on the young man's gesture, expression, and feeling.




Now let's talk about the trick. I added a new adjustment/curve layer at the top. Note: click "RGB", at the drop down menu, choose blue, red, or green one at a time, and adjust the curve to see how it affects the image. By using this function, you can give the image a new color.




Last but not the least, I added more details and the warm lighting effect, to give it more visual contrast.





It's not done yet. I have to refine it later.














Source URL: https://notgaptek.blogspot.com/2010/10/
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